“With apologies to Masefield”, author unknown

 I must go down to the sea again, in a modern high-tech boat,
 And all I ask is electric, for comfort while afloat,
 And alternators, and solar panels, and generators going,
 and deep cycle batteries with many amperes flowing.
 I must go down to the sea again, to the autopilot’s ways,
 And all I ask is a GPS, and a radar, and displays,
 And a cell phone, and a weatherfax, and a shortwave radio,
 And compact disks, computer games and TV videos.
 I must go down to the sea again, with a freezer full of steaks,
 And all I ask is a microwave, and a blender for milkshakes,
 And a watermaker, air-conditioner, hot water in the sink,
 And e-mail and a VHF to see what my buddies think.
 I must go down to the sea again, with power-furling sails,
 And chart displays of all the seas, and a bullhorn for loud hails,
 And motors pulling anchor chains, and push-button sheets,
 And programs which take full charge of tacking during beats.
 I must go down to the sea again, and not leave friends behind,
 And so they never get seasick we’ll use the web online,
 And all I ask is an Internet with satellites over me,
 And beaming all the data up, my friends sail virtually.
 I must go down to the sea again, record the humpback whales,
 Compute until I decipher their language and their tales,
 And learn to sing in harmony, converse beneath the waves,
 And befriend the gentle giants as my synthesizer plays.
 I must go down to the sea again, with RAM in gigabytes,
 and teraflops of processing for hobbies that I like,
And software suiting all my wants, seated at my console
 And pushing on the buttons which give me complete control.
 I must go down to the sea again, my concept seems quite sound,
 But when I simulate this boat, some problems I have found.
 The cost is astronomical, repairs will never stop,
 Instead of going sailing, I’ll be shackled to the dock.
 I must go down to the sea again, how can I get away?
 Must I be locked in low-tech boats until my dying day?
 Is there no cure for my complaint, no technologic fix?
 Oh, I fear electric fever is a habit I can’t kick.
And software suiting all my wants, seated at my console
 And pushing on the buttons which give me complete control.
 I must go down to the sea again, my concept seems quite sound,
 But when I simulate this boat, some problems I have found.
 The cost is astronomical, repairs will never stop,
 Instead of going sailing, I’ll be shackled to the dock.
 I must go down to the sea again, how can I get away?
 Must I be locked in low-tech boats until my dying day?
 Is there no cure for my complaint, no technologic fix?
 Oh, I fear electric fever is a habit I can’t kick.
###

Hey, someone sent it to me! My reaction: read it out loud, it’s pretty darn good. And there are some snippets of truth in there, but the electronics cat is way out of the bag. For instance, contemplate the fleet of floating technology I see out my hotel window (telephoto).

MIBS tele

 

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Ben Ellison

Ben Ellison

Panbo editor, publisher & chief bottlewasher from 4/2005 until 8/2018, and now excited to have Ben Stein as very able publisher, webmaster, and editing colleague. Panbo is going to the next level in 2019 and beyond.

2 Responses

  1. Chelsey says:

    I want to say – thank you for this!

  2. Ben Ellison Ben Ellison says:

    Author found! “Electic Fever” was written by Jerry Hickson, and first appeared in the Commodores Bulletin of the SSCA (http://ssca.org). Thanks, Jerry!

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